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As
a training director, she had taken several courses on
professional effectiveness and stress management. They
hadn’t helped her much, however, because she couldn’t
implement the many tips: “I get lots of good ideas
from these courses, and I do try them out, but I often
slip right back into my old ways of doing things.”
She had reached a point where she was open to deeper
change.
As
she followed the seven steps on this path, she observed,
“This method helped me change a few key habits.
I feel like I found a path out of what looked like a
trackless jungle. I no longer have to sit in my office
late, spinning my wheels. I can get home much earlier,
without guilt. I’ve learned how to get ready the
night before so that we can all leave the house in good
shape the next morning. I feel much more connected with
myself and my family. I am much clearer about what is
important to me—both my priorities and my sense
of deeper purpose. I feel like I am back on track in
my life.”
Charles,
a lawyer in solo practice, has an impressive office
downtown. He didn’t meet with clients there because,
in his words, “it was a zoo.” There were books
open on the desk and the floor, and piles of folders
in disarray. All surfaces were covered with clutter,
even the chairs. Yet, he was reluctant to try to clear
it up because it would ruin the delicate order that
he had created. At any given time, he knew—sort
of—where everything was.
Often,
he felt completely unproductive. He sat, numb, panicking,
but unable to take action. His behavior reminded him
of a quote he once heard: “Hell is when things
freeze.” He lived that hell often until a deadline
was close, and he would be galvanized to act. But the
pain he felt was enormous.
For
him, his lateness was what finally brought things to
a head. He was a single dad, and his teenagers were
also always late to activities. At work, he, his colleagues,
and his clients all knew that he couldn’t be counted
on to meet deadlines. He tried to arrive at appointments
on time, but something always got in the way. He was
tired of breaking agreements and being unreliable, and
he sensed that his chronic tardiness was damaging his
business. He was good at what he did, but other people
didn’t want to hang around waiting for him. He
had difficulty building the deep trust he wanted with
his clients. Trust was an important part of his spiritual
growth and his deep desire was to be fully present for
others and to bring a sense of presence to his work.
As
he worked through the steps of this approach he said,
“The first few occasions I arrived on time, no
one else was there, because they expected me to be at
least a half an hour late. I now realize that I can
be on time to every appointment. It does take some planning
and awareness of my thought patterns. However, I like
knowing that I can keep my agreements. I can be present.
I am developing real integrity. My clients are learning
to trust me in much more profound ways. I feel the presence
of a much deeper trust in my life.”
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